Question:
Right now, my husband is the only one working while I am a full-time college student. I am looking for a job but honestly have been so depressed and stressed out that I haven't been trying very hard.
He is very obsessed with money, and with our money situation being so tight at the moment, he has turned into a monster. He calls me lazy and worthless all the time. He sometimes refuses to let me buy necessities, like razors, because he "feels better if he can go one day without spending any money.
"I feel like I have completely lost myself in this marriage. Every single dollar I spend he makes me feel guilty about. When I try to explain to him how hurtful his words are, he said "I will respect you more when you get a f***ing job." One day he will be nice and do sweet things, like clean the entire house and cuddle with me, and then the next day he will be so cruel.
He has told me things like he hates buying gifts for anyone (including me) and just wishes no one would ever get him anything so he wouldn't feel obliged. He actually uses my wedding ring against me. When I tell him he is cheap, he will say "who bought you that $1200 ring?" Even when I was making money as well, he has been like this.
Over time I have realized that I am now completely dependent on him and ridden with guilt over it. We are going to go to marriage counseling soon, but it took me telling him I wanted a divorce for him to finally agree to go. He doesn't feel like anything is wrong.
I feel like I have actually come so far. I was raped last year and went through a depression where I pretty much did not get out of bed for 10 months. Now I am meeting new people, going to school, and living on my own 5 out of 7 days a week because my husband goes to school in a different town. But instead of being proud of me for coming so far, he just sees the negative and tells me I need to 'get over it'.
So do you think there's any hope this man can change or should I get out while I can? He can be so good at times but then he says such hurtful things I can hardly stand to have my emotions up and down all the time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answer:
Its hard to say if he can change. I think some people are just the way they are, and there is no changing that. But others, I think if they want it enough and will work hard enough, they can. I don't know which one your husband is, because I don't know him. Its hard to imagine a man as insensitive as your husband being able to completely change his attitude and ways.
I DO think counseling is a great idea, that way you can figure out what is causing his anger and disrespect towards you. It doesn't seem normal for a husband to be calling his wife names, and making her feel so awful... especially when she is dealing with depression, and having had been raped only a few months before. I agree, he should be applauding you in the progess you have been able to make... not making you feel like crap for not being able to just 'get over' your depression over your rape.
You need to fully devote yourself to counseling... and after a good amount of time if you do not see progress in his attitude, and treatment of you, or even a hint of it... I would leave. You should not be with someone who is so unsupportive, hurtful, cruel, cold, harsh, and disrespectful... especially considering your circumstances. You have been through something awful, and he should be understanding of that... despite what you have been through, however, how he is treating you is wrong.
I truly hope you can work it out, and get to the bottom of why he is like this towards you. I hope things work out for the best. Just do not put up with it.
See more replys at: http://members.lovingyou.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=183054
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Marriage
Year Long Workout Plan
Think of it as a workout program that never ends. After four weeks, you won't have to scramble for a new routine or wonder what to do next. You'll have a brand-new block of workouts waiting for you - all of which will build on the gains you've made in the preceding weeks. No matter what your specific fitness goals are, there will be a phase in the Yearlong Program that addresses them. Want to get bigger? We have a month dedicated to maximum mass building. Leaner? We've got a stage devoted to getting you ripped for the beach. You'll also have the opportunity to train for pure strength gains and sport-specific power.
Best of all, while our plan is designed to be followed month after month, it does allow a certain degree of flexibility. If you take a break from training along the way, or you want to try one of our other monthly workouts, that's OK. You can go your own way for a few weeks and then simply return to the next phase of the Yearlong Program when you're ready. Bear in mind, however, that the only way you'll get optimal results is by following these workouts in the listed order from start to finish.
Visit http://www.mensfitness.com/year_long/phase_table/ to choose your phase and get started now.
Heath Ledger Final Resting Place.
The remains of Heath Ledger were removed from the Frank E. Campbell Funeral Home in New York City Friday afternoon, and are en route to an unspecified airport, police confirm to PEOPLE.
A little before 4 p.m., the body – carried inside a light-wood box – was loaded into a Cadillac hearse to be transported to a local-area airport.
Police had set up barricades outside the funeral home earlier in the day.
Ledger's grieving father Kim, mother Sally and sister Kate placed messages of remembrance in Friday's West Australian newspaper.
One signed by the entire family read: "You dreamed your dreams and lived them with passion and intelligent commitment. We have been privileged to accompany you on a ride through life that has simply been amazing and through it all, we have loved each other beyond imagination."
http://topics.cnn.com/topics/heath_ledger#aCurrentPage
Miss Michigan Crowned Miss America
By KATHLEEN HENNESSEY, Associated Press Writer
Sun Jan 27, 7:30 AM ET
LAS VEGAS - Miss Michigan Kirsten Haglund, a 19-year-old aspiring Broadway star, was crowned Miss America 2008 on Saturday in a live show billed as the unveiling of the 87-year-old pageant's new, hipper look.
Haglund, of Farmington Hills, Mich., sang "Over the Rainbow" and walked a crowd-pleasing strut in a black and gold bikini to clinch the title. She beat Miss Indiana Nicole Elizabeth Rash, the first runner up, and Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto, the second runner up for the $50,000 scholarship and year of travel that comes with the crown.
Haglund, who studies music at the University of Cincinnati, grew up in a pageant family. Her mother is an active volunteer, and her grandmother Iora Hunt, competed for the crown as Miss Michigan 1944. Hunt joined Haglund at a news conference.
"The only words that come to my mind is that this is a dream come true, not just for me but for my family as well," Haglund said. "I'm not just standing up here alone."
Haglund, a cheery, classic blond, wore a revealing silver sequined dress and black bikini during the evening gown and swimsuit portions of the pageant. As her platform issue, she promised to advocate for awareness of eating disorders, an illness from which she has recovered.
The crowning at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino on the Las Vegas Strip was aired for the first time on TLC. It capped a four-week reality series, "Miss America: Reality Check," which followed the contestants as they were pushed to shed the dated look of Miss Americas past and adopt a more updated style.
The show was the latest in a series of attempts to find an audience with a younger demographic after more than a decade of declining ratings.
The 52 newly made-over aspiring beauty queens who sought the top tiara sported updated hairdos, sassy attitudes and red carpet-worthy fashion throughout the competition.
Usually tame by modern TV standards, the swimwear competition kicked it up a notch. Most contestants wore black bikinis, and some struck provocative poses and twirled as the audience howled. Contestants also wore blue jeans and added a bit of humor to the traditional opening number, the parade of states.
Haglund's moves won howls from the audience. "I think for the audience, the swimwear and evening wear was much more entertaining, am I right?" Haglund said when asked about the show's new look.
The changes included a chance for "Reality Check" viewers to text message votes for their favorite contestant. Miss Utah, Jill Stevens, an Army medic who served in Afghanistan, was named "America's Choice."
Stevens did not make to the final 10, but she took the disappointment with pluck. She dropped and gave the audience push ups before joining the other losers on a riser on the side.
Producers added a twist to the interview portion, as well. They asked people on the street to pose questions, and the results were edgier than usual. Contestents were asked about binge drinking, HIV and Britney Spears' pregnant younger sister, Jamie Lynn.
"No I don't think she should be fired," Miss Indiana Nicole Elizabeth Rash said. "They're still people, they're still human beings. We all deserve second chances."
The long-struggling pageant had promised a new look for this year's beauty battle. "Entertainment Tonight" reporter Mark Steines was the master of ceremonies of the show. Clinton Kelly of TLC's hit "What Not to Wear" also helped with the hosting duties. Kelly had instructed the girls on how to update their looks during the reality show.
The pageant sounded different, too. A deejay spun dance music from turntables set up on stage. Contestants danced and waved to the audience during commercials breaks. The losers were seated on risers on one side of the stage, while the parents of the finalists, in black tie, were seated on the other.
The show was the latest in a series of attempts to find a new audience after more than a decade of declining ratings. The fading institution was dropped from network television in 2004. It spent a two-year stint on Country Music Television before being picked up last summer by TLC, a cable channel reaching 93 million homes in the U.S.
TLC added the pageant to its reality-TV stable, and announced plans to reinvent the look of the show and find an "It girl" ready for modern celebrity.
In addition to the $50,000 scholarship, Haglund will embark on a year of promoting the pageant, her platform issue and the Children's Miracle Network, a pageant partner.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080127/ap_on_re_us/miss_america;_ylt=AiB_CcPzXSrVecvp7IFlWyJvzwcF
Disabled Spy Satellite Threatens Earth
Sun Jan 27, 7:26 AM ET
WASHINGTON - A large U.S. spy satellite has lost power and could hit the Earth in late February or early March, government officials said Saturday.
The satellite, which no longer can be controlled, could contain hazardous materials, and it is unknown where on the planet it might come down, they said. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the information is classified as secret. It was not clear how long ago the satellite lost power, or under what circumstances.
"Appropriate government agencies are monitoring the situation," said Gordon Johndroe, a spokesman for the National Security Council, when asked about the situation after it was disclosed by other officials. "Numerous satellites over the years have come out of orbit and fallen harmlessly. We are looking at potential options to mitigate any possible damage this satellite may cause."
He would not comment on whether it is possible for the satellite to perhaps be shot down by a missile. He said it would be inappropriate to discuss any specifics at this time.
A senior government official said that lawmakers and other nations are being kept apprised of the situation.
The spacecraft contains hydrazine — which is rocket fuel — according to a government official who was not authorized to speak publicly but spoke on condition of anonymity. Hydrazine, a colorless liquid with an ammonia-like odor, is a toxic chemical and can cause harm to anyone who contacts it.
Such an uncontrolled re-entry could risk exposure of U.S. secrets, said John Pike, a defense and intelligence expert. Spy satellites typically are disposed of through a controlled re-entry into the ocean so that no one else can access the spacecraft, he said.
Pike also said it's not likely the threat from the satellite could be eliminated by shooting it down with a missile, because that would create debris that would then re-enter the atmosphere and burn up or hit the ground.
Pike, director of the defense research group GlobalSecurity.org, estimated that the spacecraft weighs about 20,000 pounds and is the size of a small bus. He said the satellite would create 10 times less debris than the Columbia space shuttle crash in 2003. Satellites have natural decay periods, and it's possible this one died as long as a year ago and is just now getting ready to re-enter the atmosphere, he said.
Jeffrey Richelson, a senior fellow with the National Security Archive, said the spacecraft likely is a photo reconnaissance satellite. Such eyes in the sky are used to gather visual information from space about adversarial governments and terror groups, including construction at suspected nuclear sites or militant training camps. The satellites also can be used to survey damage from hurricanes, fires and other natural disasters.
The largest uncontrolled re-entry by a NASA spacecraft was Skylab, the 78-ton abandoned space station that fell from orbit in 1979. Its debris dropped harmlessly into the Indian Ocean and across a remote section of western Australia.
In 2000, NASA engineers successfully directed a safe de-orbit of the 17-ton Compton Gamma Ray Observatory, using rockets aboard the satellite to bring it down in a remote part of the Pacific Ocean.
In 2002, officials believe debris from a 7,000-pound science satellite smacked into the Earth's atmosphere and rained down over the Persian Gulf, a few thousand miles from where they first predicted it would plummet.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080127/ap_on_go_ot/dead_satellite;_ylt=Ai6C.lbLAjUBOZFzdGnfzH5vzwcF
